Carry On
Me: *on the phone with a waitress* hi when do you guys close?
Waitress: 2 A.M.
Me: *on the phone* Grand. *hangs up*
My friend: why did you just say grand?
Me: idk I've never said that before in my life
-Later at the restaurant-
Me: Hi, can I have a table for three?
Waitress: were you the kid on the phone who said "grand"?

Paintings in Detail: Still Life Paintings, part I

puckish-thoughts:

THERE IT IS AGAIN!  THERE IT FUCKING IS!  i’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THIS PHOTO FOR YEARS AND NEVER COULD FIND IT!!  THE LAN PARTY WITH THE GUY DUCT-TAPED TO THE CEILING!!  BACK IN ANCIENT TIMES WHEN PEOPLE STILL USED CATHODE MONITORS AND WHEN COUNTERSTRIKE WAS THE NEW THING.  THIS SHIT IS REAL.  THIS IS REAL SHIT.  SHIT THAT HAPPENED.

puckish-thoughts:

THERE IT IS AGAIN!  THERE IT FUCKING IS!  i’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THIS PHOTO FOR YEARS AND NEVER COULD FIND IT!!  THE LAN PARTY WITH THE GUY DUCT-TAPED TO THE CEILING!!  BACK IN ANCIENT TIMES WHEN PEOPLE STILL USED CATHODE MONITORS AND WHEN COUNTERSTRIKE WAS THE NEW THING.  THIS SHIT IS REAL.  THIS IS REAL SHIT.  SHIT THAT HAPPENED.

Thing that happened at store (TRUE STORY)
Me: Hello Gay Man
Gay Man: Hello
Woman: Ur bad
Kid: No he’s not
Woman: Dang it

kittje:

IM SCREAMING